I was totally stressed about an Old Testament test that I had this morning because my professor Dr. Hunt is a genius seminary professor who even wrote a some commentary in the Holman Bible and his tests are the same for his seminary students. Anywho... I was stressing trying to read and take notes on 50 pages about the Old Testament and reading all this stuff that was so so over my head and I just cried out to the Lord that I am not here to learn, I am not here to get a 4.0, I am here because this is where you called me Please Lord just allow you work, my brain, my retention to work as you have made it. I just did my best and gave it the Lord. Plus Michael told me to read Psalm 27 which really gave me a peace enough to go to sleep. So I took my test this morning totally relying on God desiring to praise Him for any knowledge that had. And there were questions that I didn't know the answer to at all so I just put down what came to my head and Praise God I got every answer correct. And I was the only one in my class. I am still just taken aback by the grace of God to interact in my day and bless me with the knowledge of his word. God has revealed to me that in my quest to seek him I am missing an important factor. I have been wanting good feelings and peace etc. and I think He is trying to explain that it is not that He needs to do more to make me feel His presence, it is that I need to start realizing what he already is doing in my life and praise Him for that. Which of course will take His strength and ability working through me. Althought there are times when i am lonely and stressed being here, I am finally in a place where God can really speak to my heart. And I pray that he mold me and breaks me so that I can carry this relationship and communication throughout my life and no matter where I am or what is happening I will always be able to see God's blessing through the trials and praise like He deserves. But once again thats only by his strength.
Psalm 27:7-11, 14
Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When You said "Seek my face,"
My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord I will seek."
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.
Teach me Your ways O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall stengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
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Proverbs 2
My son, if you receive my wisdom,
treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.
When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul.
When God calls He also equips...God will be faithful to provide for your every need as you seek Him to satify you...even the acedemic needs. What a great testimony. May God continue to bless you with wisdom, knowledge and understanding far beyond your years, as you seek His Precious Face!
Praise the Lord for He is good!
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